My life has been crazy in my point of view anyways. I have been on the hunt for a job and it has been stressful. So it has driven me to eat more than what I should. I find myself comforting myself with food after everyone goes to sleep at night. Nothing is sacred in this attempt to satisfy my need to snack either. It could be something that I bought for myself or it could be something that I bought for my son to eat.
My late night snacking never seems to end up with me eating something good for me like a salad, or some fresh fruit that is in the bowl on the counter. I find myself asking questions like "What am I really craving?" or "Am I looking for a specific taste?" or "Am I just looking for crunch?"
Sadly the individual servings bags of Animal Crackers (which could be regular, iced, or entirely frosted) usually ends up being my go to snack until I've ate them all. My son never even gets to open a bag. Yes I feel bad about it when I'm opening one of those little bags but I get past that feeling and just start munching. If anything in the house has chocolate in it, it's gone in a matter of a couple of nights and I'm looking for what I can fill my next snacking.
This last Saturday at my weigh in I was up into the range of weight that I had hoped that I would never see again. I am back up over 200 pounds. Not by much but it's enough. The weather is getting cool again. So I have to get cracking on what I'm eating because I want to be able to fit into all of my 16W jeans again without them being uncomfortable. I also just bought pants for my job search not long ago that are also size 16W. I can't let that money go to waste.
I find myself saddened by all the money that I have just continued to give to Weight Watchers. This program works when you follow the plan. It does. Really. But I have purposely stalled myself out and just keep handing them money every month. I could have been lifetime by now had I always stuck with it. At the same time I have to look at it in the sense of had I not been going to a meeting every weekend where would my weight be? How many times would I have come back to Weight Watchers?
This is the longest journey of my life so far. It has been a struggle. I am waiting for my break through so that I can get to lifetime. It's going to get easier when I'm the only one making the food decisions. It's going to be easier when I don't have to worry about the junk food that I didn't bring into the house. (I'm really proud of myself that I haven't bought Halloween candy yet, even though there have been some really good deals and coupons for it.) It will continue to be a journey even after I am in my own home, because then there are no excuses. I am the person buying food.
Do you have issues with night time snacking too? How do you handle your cravings? Let me know in the comment section!
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